I’m not a superstitious man.
O.K.,
I’m not often a superstitious
man. Occasionally I’ll wear a pair
of lucky socks or perform a small ritual before a seminar or competition. Experience, however, has taught me a few
things that I didn’t necessarily believe when I was 21, 31, or even 41. The concept of Karma, for example, is
one of them. Karma. Now, there’s a
good lesson!
The
ideas of every major thinker and religious teacher- Jesus, Mohammed, Moses,
Gandhi, Buddha – can be summed up in one word: respect. I honestly don’t think this is a
coincidence. Instead, I believe it
boils down to a very basic and intrinsic truth about being human: that the
universe works as one, and that all things affect all others. Thus, Judaism’s Commandments, Christianity’s Golden
Rule, Islam’s Five Pillars, or
Buddhism’s Noble Truths have all
taught us exactly the same thing:
be good to others and treat them as you’d like to be treated. So, what should this mean for me as an
individual? What does it mean for
us as a species?
There
is one thing I’ve come to appreciate about life over the last few decades and
that is that what goes around comes around. And, it usually comes full force. In fact, the older I get, the more I
see it in action, and everyone – in one way or another – gets his comeuppance
for the way he or she has treated others.
I don’t care whom you see getting away with things or if you believe
that “it’s ok if you’re not caught.”
I believe the universe (call it God, if you like) has a basic law in
which all things are connected and must work together to create harmony. It’s the reason for why we become
disgusted by the ways we see people being tortured, or discriminated against, or
executed, or bullied. There is an
innate abhorrence or hatred to those actions that we don’t consider human. C.S.
Lewis (yes! that C.S. Lewis), the
author of Mere Christianity and an
Anglican-become-atheist-become-Catholic, argues that we human beings are
burdened (one might say blessed) with
an instinct to feel guilty when we don’t do the things we believe are the right
thing to do. Why didn’t I help the old
woman across the street? Why
didn’t I give the homeless man the dollar? The possibilities for guilt are endless, yet they’re
there and they don’t go away except through desensitization and apathy. We have to lose part of our humanity in
order to escape the pressures of that instinct.
Treating
others as we want to be treated is such a simple thing. Yet, we all too often get caught up in
the ridiculously petty and inconsequential “crap” of our lives. We get offended by the woman who cut us
off on the highway, or by the guy who didn’t rack the weights properly, or by
the child who doesn’t seem to stop fidgeting in the seat behind us. I’m not saying I’m not guilty of any of
this, but sometimes it’s just better to count to 10 (or 100!) and breathe
before we act or say something we regret.
The way we want to be treated, with respect and dignity, is something
that everyone deserves and, assuming they haven’t done anything grotesque to
lose that right to respect, ought to receive wholeheartedly. After all, we don’t ever really know
what’s going on in someone’s life or mind. They could be having a really, really bad day.
I
often tell my students to be proactive and to be the one good thing in
someone’s day. “Be the first to
say good morning.” “Be the one to hold a door open regardless of the other’s gender.” “Do good just because.” As a
psychotherapist and as a human being, I am often upset by people who walk past
me and don’t respond to my “good morning.” It’s something I just don’t understand, yet I continue to
wish them a good morning each and every time I see them. I hold the door open for them even if
they don’t thank me (which surprisingly happens quite often). I refuse to let them be the cause of a
bad day, because deep down I know that my reactions and the way I respond to
the people around me contribute to my overall sense of self and well-being. The more good I do, the more positive I
am. The more of a listener I am
for someone who simply needs to vent helps center me in a way that I don’t
think many people consider. It
boosts my self-esteem. It makes me
more confident. And, it makes me
grow as a nobly good person despite my many imperfections. It makes me feel as if I’m trying.
Karma
does come around, and it very often comes in unsuspected ways. I don’t want to be on the receiving end
when Karma decides to go on a break or when it “decides” that someone “has to
pay.” So, in order to simplify my
life, and to just be in harmony with the things around me, I do what I can to
be the best part of someone’s day.
It’s all I have to offer sometimes, and perhaps one day I might need someone to be the best part of my day. I can only hope that that someone
thinks this is something small they can do.
So…for
this holiday season – whatever it is on this Earth you celebrate – try doing
some good. Make this a more gentle
world. Leave it tomorrow just
slightly better than it was yesterday.
You might be the very reason why someone decides to keep on trying, to
keep on keeping on, to keep on living.
Don’t let Karma bite you in the ass because one day – sooner or later –
it will. This I’ve learned.
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